One, Two, Three, Four ,Five Against One

So this is the second night Dad's gone. Tracy took us up to Branford yesterday morning when he actually went there, and showed us around while he got settles. The view is incredable, its right on the shore. There's a swimming pool and beaches around, and a tennis court and all that. We stayed until 5ish yesterday, and then we all went out for ice cream. Today Dippy drove us, and Jeff came with us too. Dad looks good compared to a lot of them there. He was happy to see us and we stayed with him for a bit. We told him about how on the way up Dippy didnt want to put the air condition on and my dad cracked up. Since Dip's driving my dad's car, my dad obviously knows that the air conditioning is fine. I was beet red when we got out of the car and felt like passing out. It was about 96 degrees out, five people crammed into a car. But anyway, my dad was laughing, and a nurse came to give him stuff in his feeding tube, and we talked about birds and cats and my dad had this big smile on his face. I told him about Bo's 6th egg. Hatching Day is This Thursday. After awhile Mark, Jeff and I went for a walk; we stopped by the vending machines and loadedup on snack; I had all this change at the bottom of my bag so it worked out great. We sat out on the little dock overlooking the water and talked and ate. Then we walked around and tryed to find seashells since the beach/rocks part is fenced off, but the seagulls had carried a bunch of shells on the land. So we went inside, i baught dad a stuffed duck, since Domingo obviously can't be there, to go along with his teddy bear holding a duckie that we bought yesterday. Mom and Dippy werent there so we went to fine them and ended up outside. It was deserted so Jeff hopped the fence and got some GOOD shells, which was cool. We stayed with my dad a little longer, he was getting tired, and then left to go eat. Dippy had taken a phone book and found a pizza place, and we all got so damn silly.Fee Was talking in his Irish/scottish accent and Dip was being a redneck, and mark had this weird accent too and i guess im just a confused white girl with no accent who says fuck a lot, but we were cracking up. Even inside we would make each other laugh. The pizza was good, Fee and i drank a whole pitcher of orange soda, Dip had a few beers. By the time we got in the car to head back, we were getting silly again, and we had mom cracking up. From Branford to Wallingford Dippy was talking with a Chinese accent, and Jeff would jump in and mark would too. Mom and i were in histerics, i haven't laughed so hard...well...ever! And mark adores Jeff in a brotherly way, and Jeff's more inclined to go along with us when we act stupid in a funny way. But we needed that. And we're always gonna remember that car ride home. Dip was still talking with his accent when he pulled out of the driveway. Gotta love my brothers and my Fee bear. Sooo...today wasnt bad. It was actually fun. Dad was happy, we were happy, and mom, mark and i actually went shopping together this morning. We stopped at cingular to see if we could do anything about my phone (my speaker doesnt work) then went to kohl's where i finally got a bathing suit and some other stuff, to the pet store where we got a nest for Bo when the babies hatch, and then picke dup my contacts and went to stop and shop, then got dairy queen. We havent had a day out like today in over a year. It's ...weird. I know they're trying to prepare us. Some of the nurses/staff wanted my dad to stay there but my mom doesnt want to give up taking care of him yet. THis was just so we could get a break. Obviously we're going back there tomorrow and everyday until he comes home. This is very weird. the place is so...unhospital like. It was fun today, with fee there, because i really need someone i trust and love who will dstract me from thinking too much and catch me if i fall (literally too). I have the greatest mask of "im ok, im ok" on, but really...i dont know. I'm scared, and im definitely not ok. I dont believe in much anymore, it's just easier that way; too many dissapointments. And beliefs change people. Not always for the better. I just don't know anymore. When my grandpa was sick i, being stupid because the facts were right in front of me, believed with all my heart and soul that he was going to be alright. Then he died, and a part of me died too. Everything changed, and i hate change. Maybe by turning myself off to all this, i won't completely break down. I dunno. It's complicated, and im not quite sure what to do anymore. i need people i can trust to be there, i know i can trust Fee and jess, and Shellie the most; everyone else...drifting. I hate change. Yet where would i be right now if i didnt seek it. My thoughts are all over the place, and i dunno what im saying anymore, i should sleep so i can be rested for tomorrow. Fee's coming again, and Bill and Frank are gonna visit my dad too, and i think Aunt mary might, and Uncle pete wants to see him too. My dads gonna have plenty of visitors, and its good for him. I miss him and im worried about him, but i know he's in good hands.

Nite,
^Khrys^